17 February 2013

Hostage Situation

(Jamie, who has long billed herself as the Very Worst Missionary, blogged on how she felt realizing that she was now the Very Worst Pastor's Wife back in the states. This was my response.)

If you let them, they will hold you hostage. Who are "they"?


  • Your expectations.
  • Their expectations.
  • Your expectations of their expectations.
My wife never wanted to be a pastor's wife. God kind of snuck me in the pastoral back door. Because I didn't officially get a title from the local leadership, we didn't think of ourselves that way... but everyone else did. By the time we realized I really was a pastor we had just been ourselves for so long in the role it was easy to just stay there.

So, Rule #1: just be yourselves, and let your kids be your kids. I know that's your M.O., but there's this fear that we have to conform because we are in the United States of Christendom, and By God We had better Get It Right. Or Else.

I can't tell you what to do or not to do; that's between you and God. But I will say, "be true to God and yourselves." The Church needs leaders who aren't afraid of the people they're supposed to lead.

Actually, I guess that's rule #2. Rule #1 is let God be God.

Rule #3? Have fun. Like, seriously.

Rule #4: You need to come up with your own. Mine is hugs. Lots and lots of hugs.

(Something I wish I had thought to add: Most pastor's wives are really pastors, just without the title.)

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