|
[curtain closed, stage dark]
|
|
Narrator:
|
It wasn't a dark and stormy night.
It was instead a bright, hot, arid, windy morning in the middle of
a desert. A young family has been traveling all night, as they
have for a number of nights now ...
|
|
|
[curtains open, lights up fast, young Jewish
couple plodding along with donkey]
|
|
Mary:
|
(stumbling) Oh,
Joseph, it's so hot!
|
|
Joseph:
|
(steadying her) I
know, I know. (sighs, looks around shading
eyes with hand) Mary, ride the donkey.
|
|
Mary:
|
Oh, Joey, we have too much on
Peter as it is - almost everything we own! (Looks
at stuff on donkey) Such as it is.
|
|
Joseph:
|
That's what donkeys are for!
(stops donkey) Here,
let me help you up. And tell me again why you named him, "Peter"?
|
|
Mary:
|
(resignedly gets on donkey.)
Because he's so good-natured, but so stubborn.
|
|
Joseph:
|
And so who is this stubborn,
good-natured guy he's named after?
|
|
Mary:
|
Just someone I saw in a dream
once. (donkey starts, Mary groans).
Ooooh... I'm so sore. (gets faraway look)
Next time we take a Concorde, first class.
(smiles dreamily)
|
|
Joseph:
|
What? Con-Chord? First what?
|
|
Mary:
|
I'm sorry, Joseph dearest, never
mind.
|
|
Joseph:
|
I worry about you when you talk
like that. I think we need to get you out of this heat!
|
|
Mary:
|
Ha! When I
talk like that! (looks to
sky) Angels he sees! Dreams he has! Take
a lovely tour of the Middle East and see fascinating Egypt, home
of the Pharoahs, pyramids, and lovely sphinxes, my precious! See
the spot where Moses turned the water into blood! See where Joseph
fled Potiphar's wife! Get your picture taken with Egyptian guards
like the ones who drowned in the Red Sea! (smiles
lovingly at Joseph) And you worry about
me?
|
|
Joseph:
|
(wry smile) You
have such a way with words, dearest. I don't think I ever put it
quite like that.
|
|
Mary:
|
I know, I know. Oh, I'm so sore!
Get me down off this mangy beast!
|
|
Peter:
|
Hee haw! (stops
suddenly, Joseph catches Mary as she starts to fall)
|
|
Joseph:
|
I don't think Peter likes that!
And he isn't mangy. And he's a good donkey. He carried you to
Bethlehem, he got us this far, with no problem.
|
|
Mary:
|
True enough. I'm sorry, Peter.
(rubs muzzle fondly) It's
just that his bones (pats Peter's back)
and my bones (rubs rear)
don't seem to line up right for comfort. What this
donkey needs is some nice, leather Ricarro seats, with lumbar
support and adjustable head rests.
|
|
Joseph:
|
Mary?
|
|
Mary:
|
Sorry dear. You have dreams, I
have visions.
|
|
Joseph:
|
Visions she has. Angels she sees.
(shakes head) And
you danced with that one angel!
|
|
Mary:
|
(laughing, almost
hysterically) Not quite! I danced before
the Lord! If the angel danced, too, that was his business! (makes
moon eyes) It's only you I dance with,
Joey!
|
|
Joseph:
|
(catches Mary as she stumbles)
It's too hot. We've got to find shelter before 10 AM.
|
|
[child hurries by with subtitle sign
"...before the 4th hour"]
|
|
Joseph:
|
Oh, well, the Lord sent us here,
the Lord will provide. (looks up)
Right, Lord?
|
|
Mary:
|
(starts looking through bundle
on Peter's back) How's our little boy?
Son? (anxious) Son?
Are you in here? (upset)
Joseph! Where is he? Did we leave him at the last
oasis? (frantically digs into pile)
|
|
Joseph:
|
(stops her, holds with one
arm, moves rags on different part of pile) No,
no, it's all right, he's here. Remember? You wanted him to see out
the back for a change of scenery?
|
|
Mary:
|
(slumps against Joseph)
I forgot. I'm sorry, honey... I'm so hot and tired...
I remember now, I was thinking about family vacation in a station
wag... Never mind. Anyway, I agree, we need to find some shade.
Can we set up our tent against that sand dune?
|
|
Joseph:
|
Let me climb it and see if there's
anything nearby.
|
|
Mary:
|
Oh, be careful. And make sure it's
not a mirage! I had a cousin who wandered for days chasing a
mirage. They found him nearly dead, pouring sand from a camel's
skull into his shoes, convinced he was at a tea party!
|
|
Joseph:
|
Don't worry, I'm not the one
talking about Ricardo's leather seat, or whatever! (kisses
her gently, starts up hill)
|
|
Mary:
|
(talks to bundle on Peter's
back) I had such high hopes for you,
little man. Growing up with your cousin John, playing in the yard
outside a nice split level in Nazareth, helping your Daddy in the
shop... He was going to make you a rocking horse, if only I could
explain to him what a rocking horse was! (sighs)
Poor Joseph! Sometimes he must think me mad, with the
things I see in the future. Funny, I've never seen anything in the
near future - about you, about us... He's a good man, is Joseph...
He could have sent me away... We could be living in Samaria right
now, me a servant girl or something, just trying to survive,
desperately trying to find you a father... But some day, I see us
coming home, coming back, you in the Temple, teaching... Yes! I
do, I see you in the Temple teaching. Why do the other teachers
look so unhappy?
|
|
Joseph:
|
(running towards them,
laughing and hollering) Mary! Mary! Yes,
we will go round this sand dune! We'll stay there! It's a great
place to (Ha ha!) pitch
our tent! (arrives breathless, laughing,
stumbles into donkey) Let's (breathes
hard, wavers) let's go!
|
|
Mary:
|
Joseph! Are you all right! I think
you've had too much sun!
|
|
Joseph:
|
No, I'm fine, just a bit carried
away. Come on! Let's go! (pulls at Peter,
stumble on) Wagons ho!
|
|
Mary:
|
(confused) What?
|
|
Joseph:
|
You can do it, I can do it. Wagons
ho!
|
|
[curtains close]
|
|
|
Narrator:
|
And so, Mary and Joseph and their
young son and Peter the donkey and nearly all their worldly
possessions have come to the end of another long night's journey
through the desert, exhausted, tired, dry, but safe. Sometimes
they worry vaguely about lions, or jackals, or bandits...
|
|
|
[Curtains open on a small oasis town in the
middle of the desert. An adobe building (or series of
tents) labeled "Motel 6" is in foreground.
As the family comes round a sand dune, a young man in bright
clothes suddenly steps out in front of them.]
|
|
Thomas:
|
Howdy!
|
|
M & J :
|
(looking terrified)
Aaaahhhh!
|
|
Mary:
|
(throws herself in front of
donkey) Stay back, you fiend!
|
|
Joseph:
|
(throws self in front of Mary)
Halt! Who goes there?!?!
|
|
Thomas:
|
(throws self on ground,
appears to be having epileptic fit)
|
|
Mary:
|
Joseph?
|
|
Joseph:
|
I don't know! (Looks
around warily) Maybe this wasn't such a
good idea...
|
|
Thomas:
|
(laughs hysterically
throughout lines) Oh man, oh man, oh man!
If you could have seen your faces! (starts
to get up) I'm sorry, I didn't mean to
scare you! I just wanted to get your attention, to welcome you to
our oasis, and offer you our hospitality! (has
fits of giggles) Thomas,
son of Bodett, at your service.
|
|
Mary:
|
(slumps against Peter, Joseph
grabs and holds her) I think I need to
sit down. No, lie down! And have a huge glass of...
|
|
Joseph:
|
(interrupts, kisses her,
shushes her, looks knowingly at lad) Um,
we were just passing through, we hadn't really decided for sure if
we want to stop here...
|
|
Thomas:
|
(Looks at them, looks at sky,
wipes forehead exaggeratedly) Oh, of
course, of course. But if you should be interested in spending the
day out of the hot sun, maybe sleeping in a nice, air conditioned
room...
|
|
Joseph:
|
A what?
|
|
Mary:
|
(exchanges looks with the lad)
Don't worry about it.
|
|
Thomas:
|
...drink some cold water, eat a
few fresh figs and dates, I'm sure you would find our prices very
reasonable!
|
|
Joseph:
|
Well, just for the sake of
argument, if we were to delay our journey, give up
the lovely views of traveling by daylight, rest a bit in your, ah,
whatever, drink some tepid water, maybe share a meal, how much is
reasonable?
|
|
Thomas:
|
That's cold water, I assure you,
honored sir! And most excellent dates and figs! Only a few
shekels!
|
|
Joseph:
|
(looks at Mary, raises
eyebrows) Only a
few shekels? For all that? (looks around
dubiously) You have a lot of competition
or something?
|
|
Thomas:
|
And no bugs in the rooms.
|
|
Mary:
|
(clutches Joseph's arm,
whispers) Oh, Joseph, could we?
Everywhere we've stopped, it's been roaches, scorpions, palmetto
bugs...
|
|
Thomas:
|
(bows) We
would be honored to have you stay here. This is the last rest stop
and filling station for many spans of cubits. But we are honest
men. When the great and rich come, my uncle charges them the
prices for great and rich men. When others come, we charge them
much less. We are blessed, and would not take from those who have
not much.
|
|
Joseph:
|
This isn't a room in the stable,
right?
|
|
Thomas:
|
Huh?
|
|
Joseph:
|
(holds out hand)
OK, deal!
|
|
Thomas:
|
(looks at hand)
Huh?
|
|
Joseph:
|
(bows)
|
|
Thomas:
|
(bows) This
way... (leads to room 107, heads back to
tent marked "Office")
|
|
|
Narrator:
|
And so Mary and Joseph and the
child and Peter spend the hot part of the long day in an oasis. As
evening approaches, they prepare to leave.
|
|
|
[lights fade somewhat (ideally,
sun moves across sky as narrator speaks)]
|
|
Mary:
|
(carrying baby)
Oh, Joseph! That was wonderful!
A bed! And a bath! And fresh fruit! And cool water! I
feel so much better!
|
|
Joseph:
|
I told you God would provide.
|
|
Thomas:
|
Your animal, sir.
|
|
Joseph:
|
Thank you. (looks
wary) How much for taking care of him?
|
|
Thomas:
|
(consults paper)
Let's see - fill up with hay (points
to mouth), checked his wipers (points
to eyes), new tires (points
to feet)...
|
|
Joseph:
|
(whacks self in head, shakes
head)
|
|
Thomas:
|
... washed and waxed him (waves
hand around outside), 1 quart of
Castrol... I mean Castor Oil... That's 5 shekels.
|
|
Joseph:
|
(jaw drops) 5
shekels???
|
|
Mary:
|
(almost drops baby)
5 shekels???
|
|
Thomas:
|
(cringing) 5
shekels. Hey, we didn't even charge for the Castrol, I mean Castor
Oil!
|
|
Joseph:
|
No, no, you misunderstand! We
thought it would be more than that!
|
|
Mary:
|
Far more! Oops! (covers
mouth)
|
|
Thomas:
|
We are here to serve.
|
|
Joseph:
|
So, business has been good?
|
|
Thomas:
|
(shrugs) Not
really.
|
|
Mary:
|
What about all the rich and great?
|
|
Thomas:
|
(shrugs) So
it's been a little while. The Lord will provide.
|
|
Joseph:
|
(pulls Mary off to one side)
What do you think?
|
|
Mary:
|
I think... (looks
at Thomas, looks at baby, smiles) I think
he's telling the truth. So does our son.
|
|
Joseph:
|
What? (stares
at Mary, at baby, back at Mary)
|
|
Mary:
|
Trust me on this, OK?
|
|
Joseph:
|
So what do we do? We don't have 5
shekels! I forgot all about the donkey last night...
|
|
Mary:
|
Well... we were wondering why
those so-called Wise Men gave us some of those gifts. I mean,
Peter's lugged all that gold, frankincense and myrrh all the way
from Bethlehem!
|
|
Joseph:
|
But those gifts were for our son!
(looks wonderingly at baby)
"For the king", they said. (looks
at Mary)
|
|
Mary:
|
And we're his parents! We wondered
what it all was for - maybe to help with this journey!
|
|
Joseph:
|
That makes sense.
|
|
Mary:
|
How far do we still have to go?
|
|
Joseph:
|
We're about half way there. Once
we get to Egypt, who knows? We can camp at the border, or move on.
|
|
Mary:
|
To Cairo. (dreamily)
Maybe a condo on the beach...
|
|
Joseph:
|
What?
|
|
Mary:
|
Never mind! (imperious
British accent) Shall we pay with gold,
or with spices, miluhd?
|
|
Joseph:
|
Gold, I suppose. And what's that
silly accent?
|
|
Mary:
|
Never mind. Joey?...
|
|
Joseph:
|
(looks in eyes)
Yes, Mary?
|
|
Mary:
|
Let's bless them. I saw others
today - Thomas is the only one who has decent clothes. I think
they've hit hard times.
|
|
Joseph:
|
Well, they certainly treated us
well. I think you're right. (moves back to
Thomas) Here, can we pay you in gold?
|
|
Thomas:
|
(suddenly suspicious)
Gold? I thought you were just a family fleeing to
Egypt!
|
|
Mary:
|
Gasp!
|
|
Joseph:
|
What made you think that?
|
|
Thomas:
|
Just stuff I read in the paper.
(takes gold) Wait
a minute! (bites, looks shocked)
This is the real thing! I can't make change from
this!
|
|
Joseph:
|
Don't worry about it - as you have
blessed, so are you blessed. Now, which way to Egypt?
|
|
Mary:
|
Joseph... (pulls
aside) Are you sure
about this Egypt thing? I mean, really, really, sure,
deep down in your soul sure?
|
|
Joseph:
|
(Looks into distance a moment,
looks back at Mary)
|
|
Mary:
|
I mean, I'm just so tired of the
desert, and Egypt will just be more desert, and we only have
enough gold and spices for a few months after we get there, and if
this is the Messiah, what is He going to do in
Egypt??? Do we really need to go to Egypt? Are you sure about this
dream?
|
|
Joseph:
|
As sure as the dream that caused
me to marry you, my beloved.
|
|
Mary:
|
Oh! (blushes)
Well, then, I guess...
|
|
Thomas:
|
Oh, most noble guests, I almost
forgot! You get a paper with your room. Would you like an Israeli
Daily, a Samaritan Statesman, or a Narnia Chronicle?
|
|
Mary:
|
Oh, thank you!
|
|
Joseph:
|
We'll take the Israeli Daily,
please. (hands to Mary)
Something to read on the way, dear - at least until
the sun goes down.
|
|
Mary:
|
(idly glances at front,
startles, starts reading intently)
|
|
Joseph:
|
Um, just out of curiosity, if we
were to head back towards Israel, which way would you recommend?
Are there more inns like this on some route we didn't know about?
|
|
Mary:
|
(VERY upset) No!
Never mind! Thank you for everything! We'll be going now, on to
Egypt. But, oh dear! If anyone were to ask for us...
|
|
Thomas:
|
(determinedly) No
one will know of your passing, my friends. But you must be on your
way. God go with you.
|
|
[they start off]
|
|
Joseph:
|
Mary, what is it! You're shaking!
What happened?
|
|
Mary:
|
Oh, Joseph! The paper! The Daily!
Those poor children! The poor parents! Oh, I hope everyone we knew
was gone! (starts crying)
|
|
Joseph:
|
What? What?
|
|
Mary:
|
(Holds out crumpled paper)
It's Herod! He's after what he calls "that
newborn usurper and pretender to the throne"!
|
|
Joseph:
|
What? (tries
to take paper, but Mary has a tight grip on it)
|
|
Mary:
|
(staring into distance)
Herod killed every baby under two years old in the
area around Bethlehem. He killed every woman who was pregnant...
they would have killed our baby! (holds
Jesus tightly to her and weeps)
|
|
Joseph:
|
(stunned, walks quietly,
patting Mary's hand)
|
|
Mary:
|
An angel he sees... A dream he
has... And am I glad he did... Honey, let's go home... to Egypt.
|
|
